We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
