Sponge bath it is.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
