just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
