the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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