Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
