he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize