Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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