My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
