So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
