she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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