I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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