Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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