It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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