Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
