the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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