ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
