His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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