well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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