Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
