this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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