Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
