So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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