Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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