Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
