i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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