Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
