didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
