I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
