It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You took a bar mat shot.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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