I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
