I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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