epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
