Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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