She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
