last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We are all done wearing pants today
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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