no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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