We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
