i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
