I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
