But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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