I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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