a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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