He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize