i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
