What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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