So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
