If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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