Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
