If i come over, it means nothing
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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