so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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