I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
