Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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